The Cluster Part 1

Sporadically I’ll be giving in to you  youngins with the dreaded Listicle.  These lists will take various forms, but will always recap my week.

I shall call this series, The Cluster.

For this week’s Cluster, I’ve written the chapter titles that would comprise the novel version of these past seven days-in-the-life.  Full novel to come.*

*But probably most definitely not.

Chapter 1: Private planes and the men who own them: a case study on overcompensation

Chapter 2: My dog’s an insta-whore

Chapter 3: Where’d all the wine go and why is my mouth so purple?

Chapter 4: If Ohio is for lovers, San Francisco is for lovers with unfortunate taste in footwear

Chapter 5: Fresh coat of single, Fresh coat of alcoholism

Chapter 6: The only person to contact me while my phone was off during the movie was my mother

Chapter 7:  Your girl she so thirsty. But really, do you have bottled water? I’m parched.

Chapter 8:  I’m not mad or tired or sick, this is just my face without mascara

Chapter 9: What’s that and where do I put it?

Chapter 10: I don’t always fall in love, but when I do it’s on the bus